Regrets? Maybe. Probably.

My son is going to high-school next year, so the beginning of this week has been one of orientations. Monday at the middle school he is at, last night at the high school he'll be going to next year.

It's also the same high school Mary and I went to, except it's not. The old school was torn down 3 years ago and a new building was erected in it's place. The only thing that is still there from the original was the cafeteria/auditorium building.

As we sat in the auditorium listening to a guidance counselor drone on about course selection I caught myself doing something that I thought I'd never do. I caught myself pining for the time I spent at high school.

I was surprised for a couple reasons. I had a less than lackluster academic career. I wasn't stupid in the classic sense but I never did the work it took to get passing grades. I was a dumbass. So when I think of high school there's always this feeling of "failure" tied to it.

The other reason I was surprised is that I always thought that I was too cool to get caught in the past. Being an old punk I thought/felt that that was for the indoctrined.

But there I was, sitting there remembering the performances I'd given with my band, in choir shows and plays I had been conned into acting in.

And then I wasn't just remembering, I was actually pining.

When we got home I made for the classmate type sites and looked up my school and year and looked at how my class has faired. I was surprised at the pictures because I didn't go to either of my class' reunions, or kept in touch with anyone outside of "the circle".

There were pictures of my classmates from the last reunion. Except they weren't as I had them in my mind. We had aged. PYTs had turned into MILFs. Bald heads and beerguts. The gleam in the eyes was fading.

I kinda wish that I hadn't seen the pictures. I had this nice image of us all frozen in time and now I can't pretend when I look in the mirror. I'm getting old/older. You'd think the fact of my having a son going into high school next year would've clued me in but I think I just didn't put it all together.

The weird thing is that I don't feel old. I feel 23. I feel like I'm still new.

The only thing I've been able to figure out is that mortality is for losers.