Death in the family

Mary's grandmother died this morning a little before 10.

We were on the way back from Dallas after attending Mary's RWA convention/awards ceremony. We'd stopped at a gas station in Waco for something to drink when Mary got the call. When Josh and I got into the car with the sodas she was on the phone. Her face was stone then she looked at me and nodded.

At that moment I didn't think her grandmother had died, just that she'd gotten worse and that we'd better hurry to get home. When we got on the highway again Mary burst out crying. It could only mean one thing. There was no place to pull over on the stretch we were on, just high barriers from road construction. So I tried to comfort her as well as I could while driving. But she was more worried about Joshua than herself. Josh sat dazed for about a hundred miles before he could cry.

We got home a couple of hours later and unpacked in a somber mood.

The funeral looks like it will be on Wednesday. Josh and I will be pallbearers. He's only 13 but understands that it is an honor. He's holding up amazingly well and we take turns supporting Mary.

Mary is "holding it together". Her words. But she's crushed. Mary and her grandmother were great friends, closer than Mary and her mom. Mary feels guilty that we weren't there. But we wouldn't have been there if we'd been in town. We would have been eating breakfast someplace, maybe on the way but not there.

We said our goodbyes before we left knowing that this might happen, but you can't ever be prepared. There's still that feeling that someone has knocked all of your breathe out.